We Do What We Must, Because We Can
by Brayds2006
Summary: Random exerpts from Aperture Science's abnormal history. Rated T for Deaths in the name of Science.
1. March 5th, 1956

_This is just an attempt to establish more of a backstory for Aperture Science. More may follow._

March 5th, 1956

Cave Johnson stood at the side of the room observing the Olympian shooting Rings at the wall. This may sound like crazy talk to anyone else, but to Cave Johnson, this was Science. A few years ago, Cave had expanded his company, Aperture Science Innovators, to a new testing facility in Upper Michigan, on the site of a former salt mine. As a result, they had miles of space to play around with, vertically at least. And they had been putting this to the test, with various testing rooms for various experiments. But the one experiment that was tested more than any other was the Aperture Science Portable Quantum Tunneling Device. The blueprints for this "Portal Gun" were drawn up shortly after the Salt Mine was purchased, over three years ago. Since then, the experiment has resulted in at least 50 missing Olympians, Astronauts and War Heroes. While the contract they signed covered Aperture in the event that they went missing, there was a lot of questions starting to be asked, especially by the wives of these missing men, who are still waiting for them to come home for a dinner served three years ago.

"Alright now, Chip, just run through one of these two portals, and you should come out the other side 100% intact. Well, 99% maybe. You might loose a nerve or four along the way, but that's just a minor side effect." They were standing in a simple room: four walls; a floor; and a roof. The only major difference was that everything was made of a special material designed to support the use of portals. Chip ran to the portal closest to him, which had a glowing orange border. Chip ran through the hole in the wall, and didn't come through the other end. "Another failure, that makes 59." said one of the three Scientists watching the experiment. Cave speaks up. "There is an Olympic Games later this year, and at this rate there will be no one competing under Ol' Glory! Tell the rest of the Lab Boys to fix this damn Portal Gun or they're fired." he said before walking out the Door, ironically labelled 'Entry'. It wasn't the first time that the experiment failed, and it was nowhere near the last.


	2. July 3rd, 1960

July 3rd, 1960

"Okay, so we're trying again? This time, add some gasoline to it. If there's no gas around, fire up the invisible laser and grab a needle." said Cave. The scientists obliged and five minutes later they had a filled can of gas and three dizzy scientists. They were testing a new form of Fireworks that could be used indoors. So far, it's resulted in some damaged goods and a few dozen dead people, but nothing that couldn't be replaced. They were planning to unveil it publicly at a party tomorrow night, but at this rate it won't be ready in time. "We've gotta finish this by tomorrow. We should know how to make this, we're not just banging rocks together. If it isn't perfected by tomorrow then you're fired, the three of you. We're done here." He then walked out of the testing room and over to his personal service lift.

As the testing areas are towards the bottom of the Salt Mine, it is a five minute ride up to Cave's office. They had tried to fasten the speed by attaching rockets to it, but these slammed into the roof. As a result, Cave often used the Portal Gun to save time. Yes, the Portal Gun was finished, but Cave insisted on more tests to make sure it works perfectly in any situation. While taking a swig of his drink, Cave shot a Portal at the ground, and another shot at the ceiling miles above. He then jumps through the Portal and lands next to a Service Door near the Offices. "That's Science there, damn fun Science." 

In the Office parts of Aperture, everyone was preparing for tomorrow's Forth of July celebrations. Some were hanging up banners across offices, others were putting up posters, and a select few were kicking holes in walls to make a 'hidey-hole' to sneak out some of the completed Indoor Fireworks. Cave knew of this, and was planning to hand out the usual punishment for stealing equipment. Two hours cleaning the Waste Disposal Unit. Loosing a hand or three should cause them to straighten up.

Staff were sitting at their desk filing all the legal enquiries that Aperture received. By this time, the Olympians and Astronauts and War Heroes had become savvy to what was happening and mostly stopped signing up. By this point, they hired anyone who applied, usually people looking for a quick $300. On their desks was a small box with a screen, not unlike a Television, which displayed data that staff had imputed via a typewriter. Cave called this the Aperture Data Processor and Solitaire Simulator. Being invented three years ago, it should be on sale to the public and have revolutionised the Typewriter Industry, but Cave wanted to continue testing on it, so it stayed within Aperture, like almost everything else the company made.

"Caroline, have there been any Inspectors here today?" "No, sir." responded Caroline, Cave's Secretary and Science's Wife. "Good, good. Damn Inspectors. They're all out to stop Science. All of them. They should be shot at with lava guns, regular bullets are too good for them." Cave then entered his Office, his head filled with thoughts about lava guns.


	3. April 10th, 1965

April 10th, 1965

Sirens were buzzing through the complex as personnel rushed downstairs to Particle Test Room #5. Five Astronauts on loan from a Distinguished Space Facility had been vaporised, all because the warning lights not functioning on the experiment. Cave approached a group of staff. "Who sounded the alarm?" he said. One of them raised his hand, and Cave responded. "Congratulations, you just put Science back 10 years. You're fired." The fired employee spat on the ground and walked up the stairs, muttering something about people's rights. "Don't ever sound that alarm, because Officials are notified, and their Investigations shut down Aperture for years. And do you know what that does?" The group nodded in the negative. "Science stops, and that's not right. So none of you touch that alarm. Ever. Got it? We're done here." He then jumped into his newly created Portal hole. He doesn't like using it as often these days, as it once dumped him into a vat of Grapefruit from a height of 20ft. Besides, it was a prototype and it needed replacing. The Lab Boys should finish work on the replacement any day now, and when they do, it will finally go through testing.

Aperture had been losing money over the last 10 years, mostly due to the fact that they don't release any of their products. In fact, the public don't even know they made any of this, simply because they never told the public. The public knew that Cave brought the Salt Mine, but Aperture also sold Salt, which earned Aperture its funds. But Cave had been squandering this on these Tests. Testers were now only paid $150 to compensate the losses, but this barely made a dent in earning any of it back.

Down in the Labs, several Scientists were attempting to build a Time Travelling device. While they had several breakthroughs in getting to where they were, development had all but halted for the past five years. Even after the scientific breakthrough they will achieve shortly, progress on the Time Travel device will take another 15 years. "Now, if we relay this wire over to this outlet, and combine the two, it might just work." said Jerry. "What, do you mean plug the cord into the power socket? Because if you do, just say 'Plug it in'." said Harold. "Alright then, Plug it in" "Okay, fine. It's in. Why don't you ju-". While Harold intended to finish this sentence, a flash of light from the device put a stop to that.

The two scientists weren't seen again for six weeks. When they were seen again, Alternate Universal Travel had been in existence for six weeks. Try and guess where they went.


	4. January 9th, 1966

January 9th, 1966

Yet another Test Subject failed to return from Alternate Universe #8. Every testee who went there hadn't returned. Cave assumed that it probably materialised them in space or over a pit, but he insisted the 'Lab Boys' stick with #8 until someone returned successfully.

These trips into other Universes provided some interesting information. One showed an Aperture where the Portal Gun was released in 1960, and people used them as transportation, rendering Cars obsolete. It did end up with some misfires, including one person who shot at the Moon. This incident caused Space Travel to advance greatly, and there were regular expeditions to other planets. One other showed a universe where Black Mesa brought Aperture in 1962, and as a result caused major toxic gas leaks while mishandling equipment. Employees in this universe had six fingers due to this leakage and had powernaps while eating Egg Rolls as a result of...well, the testee couldn't work _that_ out. There was another universe which showed a futuristic testing chamber, occupied by one woman and a redesigned version of the Portal Gun. The Testee also told of a shrill robotic voice complaining about his sudden entrance. He was dismissed as being crazy and did not receive his $60. Cave decided that the Portal Gun, while it had much potential, should undergo more testing. "Just to be sure" he said.

* * *

><p>"Alright, you're clear to go through." said the Scientist from behind the Glass Wall. The testee activated the 'Aperture Science What If Machine' and disappeared from the testing room. He landed on what looked like an Alien planet, with the sky a bright Green and the ground beneath him mountainous and steep. He was near-instantly shot by a 8-armed being with a Shotgun. "Damn strangers, trying to take my Mountain." said the alien with the Gun. It was the tenth being he had shot this month.<p> 


	5. March 20th, 1966

March 20th 1966

9:27AM

A testee appeared out of nowhere and almost instantly flopped onto the ground, breathing heavily. "There were...giant dogs...fast..." he paused longer for more breath. "Harry, what happened. Can you describe what happened?" said an eager Scientist. Him and his team had been waiting for someone to successfully return from Alternate Universe #8 for over six months. The testee finally caught his breath. "First of all, the sky was Green and the clouds stretched to the ground. Secondly, there was a Man with eight-arms and a Shotgun. He said he was sick of strangers showing up and tried to shoot me. But he ran out of bullets so he had to refill. While he did this I ran as fast as I could, but he told his dogs to run after me. They must have been atleast ten feet tall and had fifty, maybe sixty teeth. I ran for five minutes and then I remembered I had the machine here and so I landed here." The scientists wrote down notes the whole time Harry spoke, grinning like Idiots. "Thank you Harry, you can collect your $60 at the end of the Exit Corridor." said the Head Scientist. Harry left the room, wondering what type of boat he would buy with his well-earned money. After finalising notes, the group of Scientists went upstairs to tell Cave of the news.

10:31AM

"I've called this town meeting to put an end to those mountain-stealing alien bastards." said the Leader Alien, named Parker. "Every few days, one of them shows up and I have to keep using more bullets. It annoys me to no end, and I'm sure y'all agree. I know Bill had one on his Mountain two weeks ago, and it took three bullets to kill him." "It was actually two bullets, the third one was to open the Can of Beer I was drinking." said Bill. "Whatever, It still annoys me! And the other thing is that they're aliens! They've only got two arms and they're really short compared to us. Also, they weren't wearing hats outside, and that's just disrespectful! They all also carried this round circle with them, what do you call it?" "A sphere?" said Bill. "Yeah that's it. It had all these buttons and things on it. I've taken every one of them and stored them in my shed. I think this is how they get here. Now, what I'm suggesting is we take our guns and we go and show them who owns them mountains!" Everyone cheered, went back to their Houses, loaded their guns and returned to the Town Hall. It was time for a showdown.

11:04AM

Scientists and Office Workers all lined up in the Cafeteria waiting for their Lunch, usually some chicken with vegetables and some repulsion gel to drink beforehand. "I'm telling you, I can invent a Lady Robot. I just need some time." said Jake. "Heh, you said that to me four years ago, and you haven't finished it. So I don't believe you." said Tom. At this point, five aliens appeared in the room and opened fire. Most people ducked behind tables or used their serving trays as makeshift shields. One person tried to run at the aliens to stop them and was shot 19 times. Everyone was killed within 30 seconds. The aliens cheered as they moved on to the next room to continue their killing spree.

A Code Red was issued as dozens of security officers raced to the Offices to put a stop to the ensuing battle. Once there they opened fire on the aliens, who in return opened fire on the officers. Bullets hit and killed members on both sides, but the aliens were slightly ahead in this battle. Then, in a complete moment of chance, two bullets collided with eachother. What wasn't known to the aliens was that Aperture bullets are packed with a chemical that would set off a Fusion Explosion if it collides with another Aperture bullet. Both sides were killed instantly.

11:15AM

Cave had ordered that the aliens were to be dissected and had their organs donated to Test Subjects who got into various accidents. Word of this incident never left Aperture. The families of the Scientists; Office Workers and Officers were told that an oven powered by lemons exploded; fell through the floor and crushed them. They were given $5 and a coupon for free bread as compensation. Doing this almost bankrupted Cave, so he ordered more Bullets and continued advancing Science.


	6. October 14th, 1973

October 14th, 1973

Aperture was a wreck. Test Subjects were bums picked off the street, and were rewarded with a measly $25. Older rooms were neglected and had fallen into disrepair, and new rooms were built over the old ones, like a toupee covering a bald head. Aperture could have been the most successful company in the world if Cave authorised the sale of his products. But he insisted on keeping them in the labs for testing. This is where he went wrong. It also didn't help that the products he _did _release had been marketed completely wrong. Portable video cameras were sold as stylistic door stoppers. Aperture became a joke to the public. No one could take them seriously anymore.

Cave had a solution, one that could solve all of Aperture's problems. Keep testing. He wouldn't fall for all this 'Bankruptcy' talk. He was here to advance Science, and advance Science he would. He put an order through to the Scientists that anyone who worked the best today would get a $2 bonus at Christmas. 1978. Cave thought he was a good boss.

The workers thought he was an awful boss. Some of the older workers, the ones who had been working here since the 50s, had told the newer workers that Cave started out as a great boss, but over the years he had slipped into a rut and had kept clinging on to this 'Testing' phenomenon. "I swear, none of this would have happened if Cave had sold some of these damn things 10 years ago." said Walter, who had worked at Aperture for 19 years. "I remember on my first day that Cave welcomed me to the company and invited me to the Bar after work. He was a great boss once." "Really, well when I joined Aperture, he just told me to get to work." said Alex, who had joined Aperture two years ago. They both agreed that within 10 years, Cave would pay his staff nothing and would prevent them from leaving. Walter and Alex quit their jobs half an hour later.

Cave had asked his workers to stay late tonight, to "further Science a few days into the future." They weren't paid overtime for this, and had all planned to go on strike at 5PM. After this, Cave ordered a Health Check on every worker, and used the opportunity to plant chips in their skulls that would detonate if anyone was away from Aperture for more then three days.

Walter and Alex had quit at the right time.


	7. August 4th, 1979

August 4th, 1979

It was his own fault. He ingested the Lunar Rocks, and he suffered the consequences.

But he wasn't going to take it out on himself.

"Cave Johnson here. You may have noticed that we're short on Volunteers lately. Well, I've got a solution to all this, and all of you can help me. What I'm putting into place today is a Staff Volunteer Program. What this means is you will all take turns being Test Subjects, and that way you can all help advance Science with me. Now, I know that some of-" He stopped to violently cough to the side of the microphone. "Sorry. Now, I know that some of you won't like this, and may not want to participate. Well, If you don't, then I won't be angry. Not at all. But that little chip in your head might have something to say about it. So, I just wanna say thank you all for advancing Science for me. Cave Johnson, we're done here."

The workers were furious. They had already had their pay cut from $20 a month to $15, and now they had to work longer. If it wasn't for their chip, they would have all left years ago. One of the more furious workers was Kate, who used to have a second job to balance out her paycheck, but she had to quit when Cave shortened the leave time from Aperture from 72 hours to 18. She wanted to quit Aperture instead of her second job, but the chip and the contract she signed prevented her. But this act today finally pushed her over the edge. "ENOUGH! I QUIT!" she screamed before digging her fingernails into the back of her head and tearing out the chip. Running for the Front doors, she started laughing, finally about to be free after 9 years of working in Hell. When she reached the Front Doors, her head exploded. The Intercom jumped to life as Cave spoke.

"Well, sorry there Kate, but we're not banging rocks here. You pulled out a decoy chip. There's five in all your tiny heads there, and three of them are stuck into your brain. So, even if you find the right one, the chances of your survival are about fifty to one. So if I were you, I'd keep your hands at work. Have a good day, now."


	8. January 12th, 1986

January 12th, 1986

"Have you damn Lab Rats done it yet!" yelled Cave down the Intercom. He was slowly dying of Lunar Poisoning and was hoping for two things. One of them was a cure, and the other was immortality, one way or another. He wasn't finished advancing science, and he won't let something as simple as Moon Rocks stop him. "Uh, almost Mr Johnson. Just a few more hours. We are almost there, I swear, I-" said the nervous Scientist. Cave switched the intercom off before the Scientist finished his sentence. He then pressed a button on the panel in front of him that moved a bookcase to the left of him, revealing a chair with a helmet attached with a computer next to it on a table, with wires running between the two. This is how Cave was going to cheat death.

12:37PM

The Scientists were in Cave's office installing software onto the computer and making final adjustments to the helmet. "It's ready." said the head scientist. Cave walked slowly to the chair, almost collapsing halfway there. After being strapped into the helmet and waiting for the computer to load, it was time for the mind transfer. The scientists warned him that it was still incredibly experimental, and has a ninety to one chance of working successfully. Cave dismissed all of this. "Gentlemen, the Computer Age is here. Science has given us the gift of Immortality, and you are here to witness this amazing event today. We're done here."

The transfer was activated. It was hard to describe apart from one word that comes to mind. Electric. Over two gigawatts charged through Cave. He yelled the most sickening scream, followed by one word, barely audible through the loud crackling.

**"SCIENCE!"**

* * *

><p>The transfer was a failure. Not a complete failure, mind you. There was about a 14% success rate. Most of the data from Cave's mind had been corrupted by the electricity, not helped by the fact that the Computer overloaded. What was salvagable from his mind was barely there. Some form of conciousness had been found, along with basic knowledge about physics. The rest was gone, or appeared to be gone. Although the Scientists assumed it was not possible to load up Cave's mind, they stored the disc in a computer in a deep-freeze chamber filled with dead Test Subjects. If the technology could be built, the disc would be rebuilt to working condition. That wouldn't happen, however, as almost everyone working at Aperture quit and ran free. The chips power was shut down, and it bothered no worker anymore.<p>

* * *

><p><em>Unknown Date<em>

An unknown power surge raced through the dormant computer, sending massive sparks from its terminal. Loading the disc, it transferred what was left on it into a random Test Subjects brain, with the power surge sparking the body back to life. Cave was alive, and trapped in a deep-freeze chamber. The Deep-freeze kicked in again, and he went back to sleep. He only noticed two things about his short time as a re-animated corpse. Firstly, his consciousness seemed to be battling with another consciousness, and losing at this battle of the minds. Secondly, he was in a woman's body; and last but not least, he couldn't talk.

Cave's mind shrunk to a minuscule part of the brain, barely there, waiting for Science to return him to life. Had his actions over the cource of Aperture's history been justified? "Definitely" he thought, and when he came back to life he was bringing combustible lemons with him. But until that time came, only one thing was certain. He would have to go through a whole lot of testing.


End file.
